


Journey's End

by HermitLibrary_Archivist



Series: Jabberwocky - the adult and slash stories [1]
Category: Blake's 7
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-05-26
Updated: 2008-05-26
Packaged: 2018-04-23 11:54:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,919
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4875877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HermitLibrary_Archivist/pseuds/HermitLibrary_Archivist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>by Paula</p><p>Jenna has always wanted Blake, but doesn't know why he has never made a pass at her. What is the reason?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Journey's End

**Author's Note:**

> Note from Judith and Aralias, the archivists: This story was originally archived at [Hermit.org Blake's 7 Library](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Hermit_Library), which was closed due to maintenance costs and lack of time. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2015. We posted announcements about the move and emailed authors as we imported, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this author, please contact us using the e-mail address on [Hermit.org Blake's 7 Library collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hermitlibrary/profile). 
> 
> This work has been backdated to 26th of May 2008, which is the last date the Hermit.org archive was updated, not the date this fic was written. In some cases, fics can be dated more precisely by searching for the zine they were originally published in on [Fanlore](http://fanlore.org/wiki/Main_Page).
> 
> Previously Published in Jabberwocky, The Adult and Slash Stories. Southern Lights Special 3.5
> 
> Artist Val Westall

Now they were finally sure he would live, everyone had relaxed a little, and Jenna had decided it was time to confront Blake. She wanted to stay, to be a part of the crew again, even if it meant having to compete with Tarrant to be  _Jabberwocky's_  main pilot, but she wasn't sure how welcome she would be. Cally was happy to have her back and even Vila seemed pleased. As for Avon, well, Avon would never like her very much, nor she him, but at least they could tolerate each other, and he had told her that he would not oppose her if she chose to stay. She knew the truth about Gauda Prime now, and while she still resented Avon for shooting Blake, she felt she could come to terms with it if Blake could.

      Blake was the problem though. She was sure he wanted her back - most of the time. They would be on the flight deck and he would suddenly turn and smile at her, one of his warm, genuine smiles that convinced her she mattered to him. Then, when given a chance to be alone with her, he would find some task to keep him busy. On  _Liberator_  she had finally convinced herself that Blake was opposed to personal relationships because it would complicate things unnecessarily, but here she had seen Blake smile with tolerant amusement when Avon and Cally exchanged an intimate look. Blake approved of their slowly blossoming relationship. Why wouldn't he approve of one for himself? Jenna thought about it. She didn't think Blake was gay, but he had never shown the slightest interest in her. She knew she wasn't unattractive. Both Avon and Vila had made tentative passes at her when they had first got  _Liberator_ , Avon suggesting it as a practical business arrangement and Vila looking hopefully for a good time. Though Avon was not her type, she found him physically attractive and she had considered it, but something had held her back. She had refused to let herself take Vila seriously, something she had occasionally regretted when she was alone and lonely at night, suspecting that Vila would be skilled and that he would not expect more of a commitment from her than she was prepared to give. But she held aloof and finally she had realised that it was because of Blake. She hated to think she was in love with him like a teenager with a crush, but something drew her to him, and as long as it was unresolved, it didn't seem right to be with someone else. She missed sex, but she'd held out, and waited, and tried to put herself in Blake's way, done everything but frankly proposition him. Only pride held her back from that - it wasn't that she thought herself above making the first move, it was that a part of her feared he would say no, and she couldn't bring herself to fling her feelings at his feet for him to trample on. It was not that he wouldn't be kind, but kindness would be the worst of all.

      But now, here on _Jabberwocky_ , it might be different. She felt she had to try, at least to talk to him about it. If she left now, it wouldn't be taken as anything but the fact that times had changed and she had her own plans to follow. It was now or never.

      "Come in." The door slid open for her and Blake looked up to see who it was. He had changed into a casual flowing robe that flattered him, and a part of her suddenly wanted to fling her arms around him and throw caution to the winds, but she didn't. Instead, she said coolly, "Blake, can we talk?"

      "Of course. Come in, Jenna. It's good to have you back. I hope you haven't come to tell me you don't plan to stay. I thought you were even starting to get on better with Avon."

      "As well as anyone can. You must have the patience of a saint."

      "It's not as hard for me as it is for you. In some ways, you and Avon are alike."

      "If I didn't know that was true, I would be very angry with you." She smiled. "I'm not keeping you up, am I?"

      "No. It's been so hectic lately that it takes me time to unwind at night before I can sleep. Since I unlinked from Jabberwocky, I feel rather alone."

      Jabberwocky. She had forgotten the ship's computer. It could form a telepathic link with a member of the crew, joining minds, and Blake had been briefly linked after he had rejoined the crew. Cally had arranged that, to help Blake settle back into position as their leader, but now Tarrant had the link. Avon had pointed out, rather disgustedly, that the Federation had originally designed the ship to link with a pilot, to facilitate control, especially in battle. Jenna rather resented that link with Tarrant; as the more experienced pilot, she would have liked to try it herself. But it might have been damned awkward right now.

      "I imagine you would," she said. "Blake, I didn't come to threaten to leave. I haven't decided yet whether I want to stay or not, though."

      "How can we convince you?"

      She took a step closer to him. "I think you could convince me, Blake."

      She thought he misunderstood her deliberately. "It isn't Tarrant, is it? He has right of possession and I don't want to put him out. I rather like him, Jenna. He's a good pilot and he's loyal. He may be hotheaded and rash, but he's learning. I want you to stay though, too. I think the two of you could work it out."

      "I'm not worried about Tarrant," she told him. "I can handle Tarrant." She shot him a provocative look. "Don't you think I can?"

      Blake laughed. "Knowing you and knowing Tarrant, I'll enjoy the fireworks."

      She smiled a little too. "No contest, Blake. I'm not worried about him. I'm more concerned about you."

      "Me?" He looked surprised and wary. "What do you mean?"

      She slid her arms around his neck. "Do you really not know?"

      He reached up to lift her arms away. "Jenna, I don't think this is a good idea."

      "It's a good idea for Avon and Cally, isn't it? You said you were rather pleased that they were finally getting together."

      "I am," Blake admitted cautiously.

      "It's just that you're not interested," she said. "You don't find me attractive?"

      "Not find you attractive!" he echoed in disbelief. "You _can't_  believe that."

      He seemed so amazed that she would think such a thing that she decided to go for broke. Tightening her grip, she covered his mouth with hers. For a moment, he didn't react at all, then, with a groan, he returned the kiss with all the fervour of a starving man. He kissed her as if he had never wanted a woman more, and it told Jenna everything she needed to know. It also made her cling to him, determination replaced with arousal. With a purring sound of contentment and pleasure, she moved her body against his, arching her hips forward as she felt his erection. He couldn't deny he wanted her now. Her hands tangled in his hair as she deepened the kiss, her tongue probing and thrusting. He responded to that, and their tongues twined together. His hands slid caressingly down her back and he pulled her closer.

      Then he thrust her away from him as if he were bored with the whole thing.

      She stared at him in furious disbelief. "What was that all about if you aren't interested?" she demanded, her chest heaving with the struggle to restrain her anger and to control her breathing.

      "I'm sorry, Jenna," he said in a flat voice.

      "You're sorry!" She was furious. "What do you mean, you're sorry?"

      "You must have realised why-" he began awkwardly.

      "Realised what? I'm not a mind reader, Blake. If there's something wrong with me, tell me. I don't like rejection any more than the next person and I don't like being led on."

      "There's nothing wrong with you," he confessed reluctantly. "It's me. Ever since the Federation interfered with my mind back on Earth, I haven't been able to..." His voice trailed off, and he avoided her eyes. "I can't make love to you, Jenna. I'm not able to."

      "What do you mean?" she asked, startled. "You can't be impotent, not with that erection. Do you mean-"

      "Erection?" he echoed blankly. "But I didn't - I can't-"

      "Then I've got a wonderful imagination." She dropped her eyes to his crotch. It was gone now, but she had not imagined it. "Blake, was it physical or psychological?"

      "It wasn't physical. I went to a doctor back on Earth. They said nothing was wrong with me. It didn't matter as much then, not really. It didn't matter until you came aboard  _Liberator_. Why do you think I held you off? It wasn't because I wanted to."

      "I thought you were too wrapped up in your Cause to let yourself become involved with me."

      He shook his head. "No, Jenna. I wanted you almost from the first, but I didn't want this to happen with you. It wasn't that I didn't want you. I knew I couldn't make love to you and I didn't want to chance it and fail."

      "But if there was no physical cause, then it could have been tied in with the suppressants you were being given or even with your memory loss," she pointed out. "The reasons might not be valid any more. You were reacting to me now until you stopped to think about it. It felt wonderful. Blake, I'd like to try."

      "I owe you more than failure, Jenna."

      "I don't believe you'll fail. You're not the type who fails. And even if you can't manage it this first time, we don't need to rush. There'll be other times. Just don't send me away. I only wish you'd given me a chance before."

      He looked at her helplessly. "A part of me wanted to. But I think I believed that if I failed I'd lose some of my authority."

      "You won't," she promised him. "And I won't walk away from you, Blake. I want you."

      "And I want you." He pulled her back into his arms and kissed her again.

Jenna Stannis pressed the buzzer for Blake's door and waited nervously for admission. There had been little time for conversation since she and Blake had finally met up with each other again, just one brief private conversation the first night she had come on board. There had been too much else to worry about then, as Tarrant had been shot and no one believed at first that he would survive.  She let him take the lead, knowing that being too aggressive might not be the right thing, not unless he wanted her to. He kissed her again and again, and his fingers undid her tunic, freeing her from it deftly. When his fingertips brushed across a bare nipple, she caught her breath sharply and made a little sound of pleasure. He led her to the bed and she lay back, drawing him down to her. Suddenly, he bent his head and took the nipple in his mouth, and her hands came up involuntarily, her fingers twining in his hair.

      "That's lovely," she breathed.

      While his mouth moved from one breast to the other, his hands were undoing the fastenings of her trousers and she lifted her hips to allow him to draw them down. She was caught up in the moment, wanting him to touch her, wanting to touch him, and it was almost impossible to remain passive under his exploration of her body. Cautiously, she began to touch him, slowly, carefully, tracing her fingers over his chest, around to his back, drawing her fingertips down to his buttocks and back up again, and she could feel his body tensing under her touch. Somehow, his reaction was almost as exciting as the pleasure she was feeling as his fingers slid up her thighs and touched her intimately. She moaned and arched her body, pressing herself up to reach his touch. She could think of nothing now but the pleasure he was giving her, then she remembered that this might not be helping Blake's problem, and she lifted her head to look at him. "That feels wonderful," she breathed. "But what about you? This isn't just for me." She slid away from his touch and rolled over, reaching for the fasteners of his robe.

      He was naked beneath it, and she stretched out a hand and touched his chest, tracing a finger down to his waist, her eyes moving lower. He had a partial erection, and she let her fingers glide lower, stopping just short of it. He sucked in his breath but didn't say anything. Jenna paused, tracing patterns on his belly and thighs, not yet touching his shaft. If she took it slow and didn't manage to remind him of his problem, he was going to be magnificent.

      "Lie back, Blake," she whispered. "Let me make it good for you."

      He obeyed, his breath coming hard and fast as she drew her fingernails up the insides of his thighs, finally cupping his balls. His hips bucked up when she did that, and he stiffened a little more. She was reasonably certain that he wasn't impotent any longer, if he had ever really been, but it might be harder to convince him of that, so she didn't rush, only continued to do what she was doing while she kissed his mouth and his throat and down his chest to a nipple, tonguing it slowly. He moaned.

      Her lips worked their way lower while her hand continued to stroke and squeeze his testicles, and by the time she had dropped below his waist, he was hard and firm, and it was all she could do to take it slowly. Her insides quivered from wanting him, but she forced herself to go a little at a time. "That's right, Blake," she said softly. "Easy now, yes." She leaned over him and blew gently on the tip of his erection, and he cried out and reached for her. Only then did she touch him there, and then so lightly he could hardly feel it. She stroked the hard length of him, and when he arched up, she took him in her hand and stroked him slowly.

      "Jenna, Jenna." He caught her wrist and speeded the pace. She let him guide her, then she bent and took him into her mouth, a little at a time until she took him all in. His hips jutted up, missing the rhythm of her movements at first, then catching them, and she brought him almost to the brink of climax, then backed off a little.

      "Please, Blake," she gasped, letting her hand continue the movements her mouth had made. "I don't want to wait any longer."

      She was surprised when he pulled her on top of him, but it was his choice, and when she was poised over him, straddling his body, she guided him into her and moaned as she felt him fill her up. She couldn't wait, pressing down against him. Blake arched up to meet her, his movements hard and urgent, and she matched her thrusts to him, letting him guide her. He chanted her name over and over, then suddenly his hands dropped to her hips and he pulled her tightly against him. She couldn't hold back any longer, and even as she came, she felt his climax only moments later. They clung together as the sensations peaked, then finally she collapsed against him, wrapping her arms around him.

      "If that's what it's like to be impotent," she whispered in his ear when she had finally caught her breath again, "I hope you never recover."

      He held her against him tightly, and she thought there were tears in his eyes. "Jenna, when I think of all the time we've wasted..."

      "Then we just won't waste any more." Smiling, she trailed her hand down across his belly and touched him lightly.

      "At least let me catch my breath," he protested, a laugh in his voice.

      "Only if you do it quickly," she retorted.

      The challenge caused him to react as she had hoped it would, and he rolled her over onto her back and began to kiss and caress her with renewed fervour. She responded to his every touch, whimpering when his hand came between her legs and stroked her there, moaning when his mouth caught a nipple.

      She retaliated, exhilarated by how quickly he was ready again. Perhaps he was making up for lost time, but she didn't care about the reason, only the fact that he was there with her creating such delicious sensations. Soon, his body was poised over hers and he thrust suddenly, this time moving more slowly, seeking to give her pleasure as well as himself. She came almost immediately, but he didn't stop, moving slowly, then quickening the pace as she began to respond again. Together, they moved, and she could feel his need growing, building, as her own desire intensified. Then he cried out and held her tight at the moment of his orgasm, and she clung to him and pressed her body to his, stroking his hair until both of them were still.

      For a long time afterwards, they lay quietly, unmoving in each other's arms, then Jenna smiled and shifted into a more comfortable position beside him. "Well," she said in a contented voice, "that was worth waiting for."

      "For me, too." He eased her head against his shoulder. "I hope there'll be no talk about you leaving the ship now."

      "Leaving!" She propped herself up on one elbow and stared at him suspiciously. "Did you sleep with me to get me to stay, Blake? More manipulation? You were always good at that."

      "Is that what you think, Jenna? Don't you think that if I'd wanted to bind you to me that way I wouldn't have waited until you decided to force the issue?"

      "I'm not quite sure what to think. You didn't answer my question."

      "Then answer one of mine, Jenna. You came in here to put me to the test," he pointed out. "If I'd sent you away again or if nothing had happened between us, you were going to leave, weren't you? If we're to talk of manipulation..."

      "No, Blake," she said hastily, then a reluctant smile crossed her face. "I confess I didn't understand why you didn't seem to want me - it's not that I have such a high opinion of myself, but there were times when I could sense that you had feelings for me, or I thought I could. I never understood why you did nothing about it, and there were times when I was so jealous of your cause - or even of Avon - for coming between us that I wanted to scream. It isn't that I expect a man to make the first move; sometimes yes, and sometimes no. But with a small crew like  _Liberator's_ , I thought if I approached you and you weren't interested it could be awkward. I was sure everyone would guess what had happened, and between Avon's cynical amusement and Vila's less than subtle humour, I don't think I could have borne it. This time, coming back, I felt I had to have things clear between us. But I won't have you use sex to keep me here." She wasn't sure how consistent her argument was, but she had to have it out in the open.

      "I want you to stay, Jenna," Blake told her. "It can't help but have something to do with what's just happened, but even if you hadn't come in here, if we hadn't made love, I'd still want you to stay. Maybe I was using an argument I thought you would appreciate."

      "I'm not sure how to take that."

      "I just want you to stay. For yourself, for your skills, for us, for any reason you can name. I've missed you, Jenna, and I don't want you to go. I didn't know how much I could offer you before."

      "This isn't my only reason for staying, either," she admitted. "Though I'm glad of it, Blake." She leaned down and kissed him briefly. "I'm sure there will be times when we disagree about things, like we did on  _Liberator_. I was afraid you were taking too many chances there, toward the end. I didn't like that, and I'm glad to see that you aren't quite so - driven - now. I know you've still got a dream. I always wished I could care for something the way you did, something more than just the basics of life. Maybe I can't share your dream, Blake, but I can care for the dreamer, and envy you for it."

      "Envy me?" he echoed in astonishment.

      "Oh yes. For having it in you to care so deeply, to draw people to you, even someone like Avon who will never share your dream. He doesn't stay for a cause; he stays for you."

      "And you?"

      "That's why I stay too." She grimaced suddenly. "You said that Avon and I were alike in some ways." Her eyes sparkled with humour. "How did you convince him to stay?"

      "Obviously not like this. Though it's an idea."

      "Blake!" she protested, laughing.

      He pulled her down into his arms again. "So I can count on you, Jenna?"

      "I suppose you can," she replied. "I don't think I'll be leaving now. But I might decide," she went on thoughtfully, "to put up a good fight for this ship. Tarrant's too arrogant for his own good."

      "But then, you haven't seen him at his best," Blake said lazily, twisting a strand of hair around his finger.

      "Maybe not," she replied. "But he's Federation trained. I learned the hard way. We'll see how it works out." Her smile was confident.

      Blake's laugh was lighthearted, optimistic, the way she had remembered him in the year they had been separated, the way he'd sounded at the beginning on  _Liberator_  when she had first begun to care about him and tried to share his dream. It had been his ability to dream rather than the dream itself that had drawn her then, and it still was. In spite of everything, he wasn't ready to give up. Even in this, though he'd tried to avoid the issue, he had finally let himself take the risk.

      Jenna smiled fondly. She knew she wouldn't leave now, and if she was being honest, she knew she wouldn't have left even if it hadn't worked out so well. Jenna wasn't fond of the idea of giving up either, not with so much at stake.

      Now she and Blake were together, and there was this ship, which was worth fighting for. Flush with her victory, Jenna began to look forward to that battle too.

      Life was going to be very interesting. Of course, Avon would be as annoying as he always was, Vila would irritate her, the others would have their demands and their annoying habits, and they would almost certainly jump into danger head first, the way Blake always had.

      But it wouldn't be dull.


End file.
